20 things Keir Starmer has done wrong

While being grilled by the House of Commons Liaison Committee Keir Starmer claimed he couldn’t think of a single thing he’s done wrong since becoming PM. So to help him out here’s 20.

Keir Starmer reckons he can’t think of a single thing he’s done wrong since he became Prime Minister by default in the summer. Labour’s tanking poll numbers suggest that the public don’t share his rosy self-appraisal.

It’s quite surprising that he can’t think of a single mistake, given all of his gaffes, blunders, scandals, errors of judgement, and accidental endorsements of genocide to date.

Of the top of my head here’s a non-exhaustive list of twenty of Starmer’s mistakes so far.

1. Economically sanctioning kids

One of Starmer’s very first acts as Prime Minister was to purge seven Labour MPs for daring to vote in favour of scrapping the Tories’ obscene, poverty-spreading two-child benefit cap. One of the good things New Labour did between 1997 and 2010 was to combat the unacceptable scourge of child poverty, but Starmer demonstrated his hostility to poor kids in virtually his first act as Prime Minister.

2. Endorsing genocide

Keir Starmer said that Israel has the "right" to collectively punish Palestinians in Gaza by turning off their water and energy, and blockading food and medical supplies. It doesn’t matter how much his acolytes pretend that he didn’t state that Israel has the right to defy international law and commit war crimes, that’s what he said, and his subsequent actions (continuing to arm and support Israel, providing diplomatic cover, cosying up to Israeli genocidiers) demonstrate that he’s absolutely fine with war crimes, as long as it’s his pals committing them.

3. Mugging pensioners I (WFA)

Confiscating the Winter Fuel Allowance from millions of pensioners living on as little as £11,000 a year isn’t just stupid from an electoral perspective, it’s also economically absurd too. Pensioners spend most of their extra income back into the economy, stimulating demand and job creation. Siphoning the cash you’ve mugged from pensioners to Zelenskyy means the cash gets burned away on foreign battlefields.

4. Mugging pensioners II (WASPI)

Before the General Election Labour MPs like Rachel Reeves and Angela Rayner courted WASPI women by pretending that they were on their side, and that they’d help them get back the money that was stolen from their state pensions. Then, despite being advised to compensate the WASPI women, Labour has just denied them compensation with the absurd excuse that the government can’t afford to pay back the money that was stolen from them.

5. Claiming others’ credit

Keir Starmer has history when it comes to claiming credit for others’ achievements. Remember when Labour tried to steal Marcus Rashford’s credit over his free school meals campaign? Well Starmer tried the same trick over the summer riots, which were stopped by a combination of massive peaceful counter-protests and rapid sentencing by the courts, neither of which Starmer had anything to do with. Starmer even tried to bully Labour MPs into avoiding the counter-protests against the fascist knobheads smashing up our communities, and then he smugly sat there and tried to claim the credit!

6. Austerity ruination

After 14 runious years of austerity ruination the country desperately needed a change of direction to stop the seemingly terminal economic decline. Instead of offering a sensible investment-based growth programme, he’s belligerently imposing "more of the same" austerity cutbacks with the insane confidence of a madman who believes that doing the same thing over and again will eventually result in different outcomes.

7. Brown-nosing tyrants

Starmer’s just got back from a trip to the middle east to brown-nose dictatorial tyrants in Saudi Arabia and the UAE. The objective being to give them first dibs on vital British infrastructure and services. Don’t ask why Starmer’s so keen to beg for dirty oil money from head-chopping tyrants, and don’t ask why he thinks Britain can’t afford to invest in its own stuff.

8. Dodgy donations

Starmer’s dodgy donors bought him footy tickets and pretty dresses for his wife, as well as lobbing cash at his cabinet of Labour-right ghouls. Starmer’s government churn out legislation that’s favourable to his dodgy donors’ interests. It’s a quid pro quo and he got caught red-handed, but his acolytes insist that he’s done nothing wrong because there’s no paper trail to prove that the favourable legislation and the lavish donations are linked. To his credit it does appear that he managed to avoid taking notes on a criminal conspiracy.

9. Lords-stuffing

Before the election Starmer promised to abolish the anti-democratic abomination that is the House of Lords, post-election he’s stuffed a load of Labour right-wing cronies in there for life!

10. Thin-skinned temper tantrums

Starmer became Prime Minister by default when the Tory party imploded. Before the election not many people knew much about him beyond being a haircut in a suit with an annoying voice. Now that people are getting to know him, whatever minimal popularity he had has evaporated as people have come to realise that he’s a thin-skinned wannabe tyrant who pretends he’s perfect and viciously punishes any kind of dissenting opinion.

11. Immigration hate-mongering

Is there anything more dispiriting than seeing the Labour Party imitating BNP/Faragist anti-immigration propaganda? It’s not just wrong in itself, it’s disastrous to popularise and legitimise the kind of divisive xenophobic hate that’s going to eventually hand power to the extreme-right. Furthermore, most of the people pushing these divisive and xenophobic propaganda narratives are the Labour-right scum who spent years painting the lifelong anti-racist Jeremy Corbyn as some kind of frothing Nazi shithead.

12. The relaunch

Things can’t be going well if you need to "relaunch" your government after just five months in power, yet that’s what Starmer did, with yet another ridiculous political listicle, adding six shiny new “milestones” to his ten abandoned "pledges", five forgotten "missions" and three supposed "foundations". Gold star to anyone who can remember all 24 items on Starmer’s growing collection of transitory political listicles.

13. Energy profiteers

During the general election campaign Starmer pledged that he’d cut energy bills. Post election he allowed the energy regulator to hike the energy price cap by an inflation-busting 10%, despite the fact that wholesale energy prices are on the decline. Starmer obviously cares a lot more about generating fat profits for greedy private energy companies than the welfare of ordinary British families.

14. Things can only get worse

Who advised Starmer to tell the public that things would only get worse under his leadership? And why hasn’t Starmer realised that this pessimistic doom-mongering at the beginning of a five year Labour mega-majority was a massive mistake?

15. The economy

Starmer dented public confidence by telling everyone things would get worse, then he poured salt over the grass roots of recovery with punishing new bouts of austerity and wage repression. Is it any wonder that GDP growth has turned negative, and the UK is now on recession watch?

16. Landlordism

Starmer has tripled the number of property-hoarding landlords on the Labour benches, and one of his new slumlord MPs even got caught red-handed abusing his tenants and defying local housing regulations. Did Starmer suspend this diabolical slumlord MP pending investigation? Of course not. Starmer reserves his ire for Labour MPs who do things like vote to scrap obscene child-impoverishment policies!

17. Peter Mandelson

Of all the shady characters behind Starmer’s inexplicable ascent to political power, Peter Mandelson must be the shadiest. Not just a close friend of notorious child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, but a publicly admitted business associate of Vlad Putin. Mandelson’s just been rewarded for his shady behind the scenes operations with the job of UK ambassador to the US. Funnily enough the liberal press aren’t photoshopping a Russian hat onto him over a picture of the Kremlin, they’re cooing with delight that the dark lord of Labour-right politics is back out of the shadows.

18. The NHS

Letting an obnoxious right-wing twonk like Wes Streeting run amok in the NHS is courting disaster. If there’s one demographic that loves the NHS even more than the British general public, it’s traditional Labour Party voters. Do they want to see Wes Streeting promising to carve off the most profitable bits of the NHS for the benefit of private health profiteers? No. Do they want to see the Labour government offering NHS workers insultingly low pay settlements that will only exacerbate the NHS recruitment crisis? No. Do they want to see Rachel Reeves inflicting another ruinous round of austerity cuts on the health and social care budget? No.

19. Private water profiteers

Since privatisation in 1989 the private water profiteers have siphoned off £72 billion in profits, while loading up tens of £billions in debts onto the debt free water companies they were sold at an infinitesimal fraction of what the infrastructure would have cost to build from scratch. Furthermore they’ve realised that it’s much more profitable to pump raw sewage into our rivers and coastal waters than do their job and make sure it gets treated. The public hate these polluting, profiteering bastards and renationalisation is an open goal for Starmer. However Starmer’s on the side of the privatisation profiteers, so his pledge to renationalise the water profiteers is in the bin, and the public can just go and screw themselves as far as Starmer and his mob are concerned.

20. Smug complacency

Starmer’s seen both the Labour government’s and his own personal approval ratings collapse through the floor and into the sewer, yet somehow he’s insistent that he’s done everything absolutely perfectly, and that it’s the public who are wrong.

The guy is smug, complacent, incapable of self-reflection, and impervious to any feedback that doesn’t tell him exactly what he wants to hear.

Who thinks a personality like this is capable of turning things around? (aside from the insane and the minority of terminally tribal Labour voters who would support a dog shit if it had a red rosette on it).

Starmer’s mind-boggling reality-denying insistence that he’s done his job perfectly so far is yet another item to add to his list of errors, misjudgements, scandals, and screw-ups.

As I said at the beginning, this list is just off the top of my head, so I’m sure I’ll have forgotten plenty of other Starmer screw-ups too. Feel free to point out my omissions in the replies.

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